Silver Dating Profile: How I Found My Partner Online

Reading time: 10 minutes

One Wednesday evening in November 2023, I was sitting in my apartment in Chicago's Logan Square, staring at my laptop screen and asking myself: “What on earth am I supposed to write in this damn silver dating profile?” Three weeks later, I was sitting across from a man in a rooftop restaurant downtown, a man who is my partner today. The difference? I had stopped pretending.

According to a 2023 study by the University of Zurich, 42% of singles over 40 in Switzerland now actively use dating platforms to look for a partner online. Your chances of success rise massively with the quality of your profile: an authentic, well-thought-out profile receives on average 7 times more quality contacts than one filled out halfheartedly. There's a world of difference between the two, and I've lived through both extremes myself.

My first mistake: the perfect image of myself

At the start of 2023, I signed up on MySugardaddy after a friend talked me into it. My first profile picture? A heavily edited photo of Lake Michigan at sunset in which you could barely recognize me. My text? A collection of clichés like “I'm spontaneous, love life and am looking for something special.” Sound familiar? That's how 90% of all profiles read.

The result after three weeks: 147 messages, 141 of them completely unsuitable. Most of the men had apparently only clicked on the photo without reading the text. Frustrated, I deleted my profile and let the whole thing rest for a while.

The turning point: honesty instead of gloss

In fall 2023, I gave it a second try. This time with a completely different strategy for my silver dating profile. I chose three photos: one of me on a hike at the Indiana Dunes (sweaty, no makeup, but authentic), one from my office downtown (professional, but not staged) and a selfie from my last visit to the Art Institute of Chicago in front of the Monet paintings.

Even more important was my profile text. Instead of vague generalities, I wrote concretely about what makes me, me:

My passion for French films (I specifically mentioned “Amélie” and “La Haine”)
That I have breakfast every Saturday morning at my neighborhood café and read the Chicago Tribune
My honest weakness for Italian food, especially the truffle pasta at a little Italian place near the river
That I work as a marketing director and sometimes still answer emails at 10 p.m.

This specificity made the difference. According to a 2024 analysis by the dating platform Parship Switzerland, profiles with at least three concrete details about hobbies or habits receive 64% more messages from compatible matches. And that's exactly what happened to me.

Which photos for your dating profile really work

The question of the right photos preoccupies almost every woman when creating a dating profile. A 2023 study by Germany's online dating association (OVDU) showed that profiles with at least three different photos achieve a 38% higher response rate than those with only one picture.

My recommendation is based on what worked for me: use a main photo in which your face is clearly visible, taken in natural daylight. My most successful photo was taken during a break on a hike, unplanned, without makeup, but with a real smile. Add two to three more pictures that show different facets of your personality: one in a professional context, one doing a hobby, one in a social setting.

What I deliberately left out: group photos (nobody wants to guess which one is you), pictures with sunglasses (your eyes matter), over-edited photos (disappointment on the first date is guaranteed) and bathroom selfies (self-explanatory). The GfK study on online dating behavior in Switzerland 2023 confirms it: authenticity beats perfection, with profiles featuring natural photos rated 73% more trustworthy.

How to write an authentic profile for finding a partner online

The text of your silver dating profile is your chance to stand out from the thousands of other profiles. I learned that specificity is the key. Instead of writing “I love traveling,” I wrote “Last summer I spent three weeks in Tuscany and learned the art of winemaking in a small village called Montalcino.” That one sentence led to three conversations with men who had either been to Italy themselves or are wine connoisseurs.

My structure for the profile text was simple: an opening sentence about me (who I am, not what I'm looking for), two to three concrete examples of my interests with real names and places, an honest sentence about my current stage of life, and only at the very end a short, precise description of what I want from a partner. About 180 to 220 words in total, short enough to be read in full, long enough to show personality.

One detail many people forget: humor. For example, I mentioned that I like to cook, but my cooking skills are limited to exactly five dishes, which I have down perfectly. This honesty went over especially well with mature men. Why? Because eloquent gentlemen often have a certain self-deprecating humor themselves and appreciate exactly that in a partner.

Writing the first message on the dating platform

I was never the type to wait for men to make the first move. With my current partner, I was the one who wrote the first message. His profile mentioned that he regularly goes to the theater in Chicago. I wrote: “Hi Thomas, I saw that you like the theater. Were you by any chance at last week's premiere of ‘The Physicists’? I was sitting in the third row and was torn between enthusiasm and confusion.”

This message had three crucial elements: it referred specifically to his profile, it asked an open question and it revealed something about me. According to a 2024 analysis by the platform ElitePartner Switzerland, personalized first messages with a concrete reference to the profile have a response rate of 63%, while generic messages like “Hi, how are you?” only reach a rate of 11%.

What I avoid in first messages: compliments on looks (they usually come across as fake), texts that are too long (nobody wants to read a novel on first contact), excessive smileys (one or two are fine, ten look childish) and questions about age or financial situation (that comes later, if at all).

Dating platforms in Switzerland: which ones really work

In my silver dating phase, I tried four different platforms in total. MySugardaddy was the most successful for me personally, because the target group is clearly defined and the men there know exactly what they're looking for. According to its own figures, the platform has about 45,000 active members in Switzerland, around 18,000 of them in the Zurich region.

Other platforms I tested: Parship (very reputable, but also very formal), ElitePartner (high share of academics, expensive) and 50plus-Treff (wide age range, but often less concrete intentions). Each platform has its own dynamic. My recommendation: test two to three at the same time over a period of at least 6 to 8 weeks. The investment in a premium membership is worth it. I paid $99 for three months at MySugardaddy and had 12 high-quality dates in that time.

The transition from profile to real date

Thomas and I wrote to each other on the platform for three days before he suggested talking on the phone. In hindsight, that was brilliant. A 45-minute phone call on Friday evening gave us both a much better sense of each other than a hundred messages ever could. His deep, calm voice on the phone finally convinced me that I wanted to meet him.

Our first date took place four days later. He suggested the rooftop restaurant, I countered with a café in Pilsen, more neutral, less formal, more room for real getting-to-know-you. We settled on a middle path: an aperitif at a wine bar near the river, then deciding on the spot. That flexibility was perfect.

A tip for the transition from online to offline dating: keep the time between first contact and first date short. No more than 10 to 14 days should pass. According to the Statista Digital Market Outlook 2024 for Switzerland, the optimal timeframe is 8 to 12 days, long enough to build initial trust, short enough to keep the spark alive.

What I learned about silver dating platforms

After eight months of actively looking for a partner online and now six months in a relationship with Thomas, I can say: a successful silver dating profile is no rocket science, but it takes honesty, courage and patience. The most important lesson for me was that mature men value authenticity over perfection. They have enough life experience to recognize when someone is playing a role.

Thomas told me on our third date that what appealed to him most about my profile was the concrete mention of my favorite places in the city. He could immediately picture what it would be like to spend time with me. That is exactly the goal: not to please as many men as possible, but to give the right ones a clear idea of who you really are.

Frequently asked questions about the silver dating profile

How do I create a successful dating profile for silver dating?

A successful silver dating profile is built on authenticity and specificity. Use three to four natural photos that show different aspects of your personality. Write a text of 180 to 220 words that contains at least three concrete details about you: real places, hobbies or habits. Avoid clichés like “spontaneous” or “full of life” without examples. Mention what truly makes you who you are: your favorite café, your passion for a particular art movement, your job. This specificity raises the quality of contacts by an average of 64% according to the Parship Switzerland study 2024.

Which photos should I use for my dating profile?

Choose a main photo in natural daylight in which your face is clearly recognizable and you're smiling authentically. Add two to three more pictures: one in a professional context, one doing a hobby, one in a relaxed atmosphere. Avoid group photos, pictures with sunglasses, heavily edited photos and bathroom selfies. The GfK study 2023 shows that natural photos are perceived as 73% more trustworthy than perfectly staged pictures. Photos that show you in a real situation, hiking, at a café, at an event, work best.

How do I write the first message on a dating platform?

The first message should refer specifically to something from the other person's profile. Ask an open question that allows for a detailed answer, and share something about yourself at the same time. Example: “Hi, I saw that you like going to museums. Have you been to the current Giacometti exhibition? I went last week and found the sculptures especially fascinating.” According to ElitePartner Switzerland 2024, personalized first messages have a response rate of 63%, while generic messages only reach 11%. Avoid compliments on looks, texts that are too long and excessive emoji use.

Which dating platforms in Switzerland are suitable for silver dating?

Several platforms with different focuses are suitable for silver dating in Switzerland. MySugardaddy has about 45,000 active members in Switzerland and focuses on connections between younger women and established men. Parship and ElitePartner are aimed at serious singles with an academic background but cost more ($130 to $165 for three months). 50plus-Treff covers a wide age range but often has less concrete intentions. It's best to test two to three platforms in parallel over 6 to 8 weeks with a premium membership to realistically assess your chances of success.

How long should I wait for the first date after online contact?

The optimal timeframe between first contact and first date is 8 to 12 days. That's what the Statista Digital Market Outlook 2024 for Switzerland shows. This duration is long enough to build initial trust through 10 to 15 messages and ideally a phone call, but short enough to keep the excitement and interest alive. No more than 14 days should pass, otherwise the emotional connection fades. A tip from my experience: suggest a phone call after 3 to 4 days of online chatting, then an in-person meeting within 3 to 5 days at a neutral, casual place.

My conclusion: silver dating works with the right profile

A year after creating my first, unsuccessful dating profile, I'm sitting here writing about my relationship with a man I met online. The difference between failure and success wasn't luck or the platform but the way I presented myself. An authentic silver dating profile with concrete details, natural photos and a clear idea of what I'm looking for made the decisive difference.

My advice to every woman creating her dating profile right now: be brave enough to be yourself. Mention your favorite café, your most embarrassing hobby, your honest weaknesses. The men who don't respond to that wouldn't have been the right ones anyway. And the one who writes precisely because of it? He's worth it. It worked for me, and I'm convinced it can work for you, too.